Is Having Expectations a Good Thing?
I had a conversation with someone recently who stated that one should not have expectations. They went a step further to say that expectations only lead to disappointment and unhappiness. I disagree.
Should an employee expect to be treated fairly by their manager? Should a partner or spouse expect to be treated respectfully by their significant other? Should you expect a friend to value your time, showing up on time for social gatherings? Should a teacher expect his/her students to complete their assignments?
I believe the disappointment lies, not with having the expectations, but with the expectations going unmet. So…how do we manage this?
We all have certain things that we expect from ourselves, our workplaces, our spouses, our friends, and even our government or world we live in. It is not wrong to have expectations…for those expectations are formed from our values and boundaries for what is acceptable and unacceptable in our lives. That is different for each individual, so how do we honor our expectations while maintaining civility and respect with others?
What would happen if we communicate our expectations prior to being disappointed? What if we communicated our expectations of our employer, partner, friend, student, etc. at the onset? Will the other person always agree to meet our expectations? No. But, that information is important to have, and it opens up a dialogue giving us more information. It allows us to then decide if our expectation is realistic, necessary, and/or a non-negotiable.
What are the unmet expectations in your life? And how are you opening up dialogue to get from disappointment to informed decision making?
