Self Doubt, The Fuel For Imposter Syndrome
Could This Be Me?
Do you find yourself doubting your learned skills?, doubting your qualifications for that job opening or project at work?, or doubting your abilities as a wife, partner, or mom?, even though you have the proof to substantiate those skills, qualifications, or abilities?
Wikipedia describes Imposter Syndrome as the following “a psychological experience in which a person suffers from feelings of intellectual and/or professional fraudulence” and “the subjective experience of perceived self-doubt in one's abilities and accomplishments compared with others, despite evidence to suggest the contrary”
Imposter Syndrome is REAL! And it can hit you at times when you need your confidence to be on its A-game. Such as when applying for a new job, pitching a new project to your boss, speaking up at a meeting, advocating for your child, hosting a party, playing a board game with your partner, etc. There are so many more instances I could include, and I’m sure you can come up with many of your own.
So…how do you combat self-doubt and Imposter Syndrome? Mel Robbins might say that we need to give ourselves a high 5 in the mirror every day and tell ourselves something like “you are smart, you are capable, your voice needs to be heard, and you know your shit!”. John Maxwell might tell us that we need to stop comparing ourselves to others and instead identify our limiting beliefs and how they hold us back. Then, creating a statement of change and repeating that to ourselves every day until we no longer have this self-limiting belief.
What Did I Do?
So how did I overcome my self-doubt during my time as a sales-consultant/trainer? My first sales training session was to a handful of sales consultants, yet based on my nerves, you would have thought I was speaking to a packed auditorium. My Power Point presentation was very rudimentary at best…it was not enhanced by AI or any other assisted feature. However, what I lacked in confidence, I made up in my desire to help and teach others. Somehow I made it through that first training session and embraced the positive feedback I received. I knew my stuff, and others could see that I knew my stuff. As I continued to host training sessions, as well as deliver my elevator speech at business and other networking events, something crazy happened. I was becoming more confident.
Did this happen overnight? Heck NO! It happened over a period of two years. I embraced the idea that the more presenting and networking I did, the more I would believe in myself. Was it easy? No. For you see…I was petrified to stand up in front of people I didn’t know very well, and I was worried about making a mistake. Perfectionism showing its ugly face, but I will save that for another blog. Over this two year period of “faking” confidence to get through a training presentation, elevator speech, or networking event, something happened. I no longer had to "fake it ‘til I made it". I had made it!
How did this happen? First, in recognizing the facts: (1) I had done my research and knew the subject matter I was presenting on, (2) I was receiving positive feedback from my audience, so I must be doing something right, and (3) I was asked by my superior to continue presenting my training sessions. I doubt she would have asked me to continue training if I wasn’t doing a good job. Second, in repeating those facts out loud to myself and writing them down on paper. The act of writing them down gives them more credibility and makes them real. Eventually, I started to believe them.
Where Do I Go From Here?
Does this mean that I never have moments where self-doubt or Imposter Syndrome creep into my head? If only that were true. What I do have is the ability to check the facts, tell myself the truths, and write them down on paper. I welcome you to do the same when you are struck by self-doubt and Imposter Syndrome.
Ask yourself …
“Is what I am saying or believing truth or fiction?...and what evidence is there, if any, to back up that belief?”
This fact checking may involve going back and looking at awards you have won, accomplishments you achieved, papers you wrote, articles you published, a letter from your boss/teacher/child, a conversation with your partner…the list goes on and on.
That voice in your head doesn’t always tell the truth!
Question it, and check the facts! Over time, that voice will become quieter and…
YOUR TRUE AWESOME SELF WILL SHINE THROUGH!
